I am fascinated by Mary-Louise Parker
And you can bet your ass that I stalk her
Follow her everywhere she goes
Doing that sure keeps me on my toes
To the salon where she goes to get her hair done
It can be tiring and frustrating but most times, it's fun
What I'd give to get to be close
Maybe even just to be able to brush up against her clothes
You're probably thinking that I'm nuts but I beg to differ
I'm just doing whatever it takes to try to get with her
Just because I choose to follow her around
Doesn't mean that I don't have both feet on the ground
Some celebs are just worth my time; it's as simple as that
She's not all caught up in the drama, that's a given fact
For that she deserves my attention and so much more
Hold that thought, I can see her coming towards the door
Damn I need a place to hide; make a dash for the bush or behind that there tree
She's sure to have security throw me out if she catches so much as a glimpse of me
It's not like she hasn't done it several times before
How many times? Er... 15, 16, hell it could be more
Will I let any of it deter me, certainly not
Fuck, just look at the woman; she's totally unmistakeably hot
I love that she has a sense of calmness about her
Hard to come by in a world filled with glitz and glamor
Have you seen her in Weeds; the woman's stupendous
Yes she does an awesome job with a role that's so scandalously devious
At times it's hard to believe how she pulls it all off so convincingly
She sure as hell make a difficult thing seem easy
But enough of this, got no time to go on
She's about to leave, the driver's tooting the horn
Gotta find a way to get back to my car
If only I didn't have to park so damn far
Make it worse, there's no way to move without being seen
Where's a distraction when you need it, you know what I mean
That shit only works in the movies where everything is way too convenient
She's headed directly towards my hiding place as she makes her way down the pavement
I drop quickly to the ground, phew, that was close
Anymore force than that and I would have busted my nose
Catch you all later, I'm afraid I must run
Faster than a bullet discharged from a gun
