Somewhere in a barn out in the middle of nowhere, Slym moans as a thin beam of light hits her face and the screeching sound of some sort of machinery reaches her ears from somewhere within very close proximity.
What... where... what's going on, where am I? And as her senses return she realizes that she's securely strapped to a conveyor belt headed directly towards the rotating blades in true 007/damsel-in-distress fashion. What the hell? How did I get here? [mind racing] And more importantly, how the hell do I get myself out of this? Then instead of the actual song coming on in the background, she found herself singing the theme song to 'Smallville' - "somebody save me... let your waters break right through... somebody save me... I don't care how you do it... Just save me, save... come on... I've been waiting for you..." while inching closer and closer to the blades. Sweat is now dripping off her body; heart rate increasing.
I need to do something and I need to do it now [thinking out loud]. Can't move my hands nor feet. Something's gotta give!
[enter Allison Mack as Chloe Sullivan]. Slym! Slym! Are you in here?
Slym: Oh thank God! I'm saved! And not a minute too soon. Chloe, I'm over here. Quick shut off the machine!
Chloe: But there's no switch; I don't know how to!!!
Slym: There's gotta be something! Hurry! Damn it, throw a wrench or log or something into it! Just do anything, shut it off I tell you!
Chloe: There's nothing here! Damn it! What am I going to do?
Slym: Quick! Take your clothes off and toss them it! Shit take my clothes too! That's gotta at least slow it down. [and it did slow the machine down cosiderably but it didn't stop it altogether]
For the love of Jill Bennett, please do something else or I'm minced meat! [Chloe looks around the room frantically and notices a metal bar on a window sill. She dashes over picks it up and throws it into the machine which causes it to grind to a halt just in the knick of time]
Slym: Oh Chloe you saved me! Thank You! Thank You!
Chloe: I'm so happy that I got here when I did. My world would have been shattered if I'd lost you. There's no me without you Slym.
Slym: Aww Chloe, words fail me [since my heart's beating out of my chest as a result of that near-death experience]
But however did you find me?
Chloe: Your cell phone. GPRS.
Slym: But I don't have my phone with me. I remember it being on the table in the study. I was having a glass of wine and that's the last thing I recall before coming to and finding myself here in peril.
Out of character: [Chloe: come on Slym work with me here. How many options to you think I can come up with on a whim in order to help complete your fantasy?]
[Slym: Aah.. oh yeah *wink*.]
Slym: Yeah it was on the table and what must have happened was that the magnet encrusted into my belt must have attracted the magnet in the leather case of the phone as I fell over the table after being hit from behind. Then it must have gotten detached as they were hauling me into this old barn.
Chloe: None of that horrible mess matters now my love; I've found you, we're together and we're naked. [fade to black the return some time after] Wanna do it again?
[and right about here I wanted to make Jennifer Beals enter the barn doing the Flashdance dance thingy and offering to join us after she'd worked up a sweat but that might have been a bit much]
THE END
Still to come Kristen Kreuk, Erica Durance and Hayden Panettiere.
